Over a week ago in this blog, I posted For a Dad.
Today I thought of two more sentences to add
to that poem (I like its flow).
The extended version of it can be found below:
For Father’s Day (third Sunday of June),
a “Happy Father’s Day” message is on a balloon
(hovering aloft). Helium: what it’s got.
It’s not to be popped
cuz it’s going to Pop.
The balloon got inflated
(to rise and float).
I hope this delights
(like a dad joke)…
***
Here’s the link to the poem when it was shorter:
For Father’s Day (third Sunday of June),
I’m not sure which version is better (latter or former?)
When Deadlines Become Zombies 
I find myself being drawn to art vocabulary to compare the two. I like the flowing brushstrokes of the latter, they fit the content, and the word delight is so perfect. The former has some quick, fervent brushstrokes, and the repetition of the ‘p’ sound packs a punch.
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I appreciate your response a lot especially since I think (maybe even overthink) a lot about options and my choice of words. This is the first time I’ve read art vocabulary being used to compare versions of a poem, and your doing that is refreshing and insightful. Thank you Moody Paper. 😀
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